English politeness translated

A translation table is currently proving an internet hit. The table explains how to translate British politeness which, for the uninitiated, usually means exactly the opposite of what it appears to mean.

For example:

“With the greatest respect” actually means “you are an idiot” whilst the interlocutor understands it as “he is listening to me.”

Another favourite is a variation of “you must come round for dinner sometime”. It sounds like a pleasant invitation but is actually nothing of the sort. In most cases no invite is ever forthcoming.

Another popular expression in diplomatic or business circles is: “that is a very brave proposal”. What the speaker actually means is “that is a ridiculous idea”, but the listener takes it as “I am a bold thinker.”

A favourite in business after a comprehensive report and analysis has just been presented, is for the recipient to say something like: “I only have a few minor comments”, which the author of the report assumes means a few changes. Actually, the real meaning is: “you’ll have to rewrite this completely.”

There is no indication of the authorship of this helpful guide but it is thought that it may have been drawn up by a European company to help its employees working in the UK.

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